Half Caff

So it happened. In all seriousness I was told I needed to reduce my consumption of Diet Coke. The gloves came off this time and I was told I’m no spring chicken and need to start taking things like this seriously. So sell off your stock, the Coca Cola company will feel this one pretty hard.

I was told to focus on reducing my consumption by half. Not sure how to take it since as you would expect, I lied about my levels of consumption. Normally I’d assume it was a pie in the sky idea and go for reducing by a third, or even a quarter, but given the scope of the lie, I should probably try for half. It’s not easy. Caffeine is important to me. Caffeine in me is important to those around me. For now they’re all just amused. It’s an odd reaction. About 15 years ago I was also told to do this, and made a valiant effort at it. At that time when I showed up to meetings or to a gathering of friends with something other than a Diet Coke, they all assumed I was pregnant. They don’t think that now. Guess the doc was right. I’m no spring chicken.

Of course there have been the obvious reactions of shock and open discussion. I can’t blame people for that, it’s a pretty drastic change for someone who’s been known to show up to a meeting with 2 Diet Coke cans in tow.  It’s annoying how others show up with water, sugary bottled teas or sports drinks, or coffee, yet I’m the one people are fascinated with. So many have repeatedly come out and made comments to me (which is especially funny when they act all self-righteous and tell me how bad it is for me through their own hangover), others are just plain fascinated and DETERMINED to know how many cans a day I drink. It’s not anyone’s business but mine (and those who shop for me). I’ve often been tempted to ask either how many tokes a day they have, or how many paxil they’re on. But that would be rude.

Those I’m in meetings with more frequently have been more supportive. It’s as if I quit smoking.  They tell me how proud they are of me, how excited for me, and of course, tease me about it, saying they don’t recognize me without a can in my hand. I tell them, jokingly, for the most part, to back off, and remind them I’m half-caffeinated . Don’t poke the chick going through withdrawal. I know most mean well, and I do secretly appreciate their support, but won’t let on. (Yes, thank you all, I do know they’ll find out if they read this blog. I’m half-caff, not half-daft.)

So send me caffeine-inspired thoughts and well wishes.


About Laurissa Doonan

I'm a marketer. I've been a professional marketer for over 25 years, but in reality, I have always been one. Marketing to me is about communicating effectively, regardless of platform, regardless of channel. Marketing is understanding both your objectives and your audience, and finding the right method and message for your customers to reach them where they are. Now I dedicate my efforts to helping very small and small companies pursue their passions and grow their businesses through marketing; providing agency trained expertise without the overhead. www.Charter-Marketing.com www.CharterMarketing.wordpress.com
This entry was posted in Humor and Comedy, Reactions (Stories) and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Half Caff

  1. chrissy says:

    haha love the post!

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