Why do people ask this? Why do I get so confused when they do?
It makes no sense to me. When I hear it it throws me. It’s the same as asking would you rather be a in a zoo or Tuesday. It’s not an either or question.
- Being right makes me happy.
- Happiness stems from doing the right thing.
- So what you’re saying then is, I’m right.
- Are we in second grade? Do I get a star sticker for the right answer?
Or the ever applicable but never appropriate
- Either would be better than this right here.
Aside from the responses that don’t work, it still left me blank every time it was asked, and made me wonder and question myself. I tried to determine if there was some deeper meaning in the question. Did I have to be right to be happy? Was I willing to forgo happiness at any cost to do the right thing? I looked deep inside and talked to others, all in an effort to understand the two issues: why it was asked, and why I find it confusing.
I realized, finally, why I found it confusing. I never asked that question. Because it doesn’t make sense. These are two essentially unrelated concepts in my mind. They are not interdependent. It’s like asking would you rather be warm in the sun or sweaty. They can take place at the same time, but they are not tied to each other. Duh.
I took it further and realized again that I had never asked that question. Others asked me. Others who clearly feel these are equally, often opposing states of being. It represents an underlying insecurity on the part of the person asking, who typically finds him or herself on the receiving end of being wrong, yet still miserable and unsure how to respond to that. Those same people also find that if they cannot be right, they have to make someone else be wrong, or unhappy, to find relief from their own internal pain.
My being happy is not predicated on another being wrong or me being right.
Besides, I’m lefty. You people focus way too much on this “right” stuff.