Preserving Organics


A good friend of mine forwarded me an article about the “myths of diet soda”  which began by suggesting that folks think drinking diet soda will lead to weight loss, stave of diabetes, and will reduce the risk of heart disease, all while providing the sweet tooth fix we crave.

No. Not true. I am a die hard diet soda drinker. I used to be a die hard regular soda drinker but changed my ways because I didn’t want 80% of my daily caloric intake to come from cola. I lost weight, because I was obviously not consuming as many empty calories as I had been. It had a life span to adapt to the weight loss because I changed nothing else in my life other than removing an ongoing intake of calories. Duh.

But I didn’t expect that to continue. To believe that would be idiotic. I also didn’t think it would keep me from getting heart disease or diabetes. Studies have shown, the articles go on, that those who drink diet colas have higher rates of diabetes than drinkers of non-diet colas.

No shit, Sherlock. Diabetics can’t (or rather, shouldn’t) drink sodas with sugar, so if they choose to drink soda, they more often than not choose diet sodas. So, you could say that those who drink fruit juice are less likely to have diabetes, also, and if you make the assumption that fruit juice therefore staves off diabetes then you, too, are a moron. (Diabetics again, are not supposed to have sugar, and fruit has a large amount of sugar, therefore most diabetics follow the rules and limit fruit and fruit juice consumption.)

So that brings me to the use of the concept of thinking and logic. My logic actually works better, but you can easily see it’s flawed because it can’t possibly be right, therefore we know something is wrong with it. We don’t look at presumed truths the same way, but we should. Here’s why:

Natural food

Early humans survived on a diet of natural foods and sustenance. They ate meat sparingly, when they could catch it, and pretty much ate it raw, providing additional antioxidants and nutrients that didn’t get killed or burnt off. They ate berries and fruits mostly, with some grains that they harvested as nomads, which meant they got regular exercise moving around, and good decent sleep as they only engaged during mainly daylight hours. They ate what we would consider a healthy diet now, and did not eat processed foods or ingredients.

They died in their 20s and 30s. Cool. (many before, but putting aside the ones that weren’t eaten by other animals or had boulders drop on them unexpectedly, the “elders” were younger than parents these days.)


Organic and natural food must be handled or eaten quickly before it goes bad. Civilizations were created based on preservation (the spice and salt trades) and power in the world changed once smoking of meat was developed. Food supplies were able to be stored longer, and doled out for proper nourishment once the mechanism to preserve them was developed. Armies and countries died because they were denied this. It still happens today. Wars took place over salt. (Still do, in hospitals with cranky cardiac patients around meal time, but that’s entirely different at the core.)

The thing is, natural things die, so we try to preserve them. Often with items found in nature. But then we’re supposed to respect nature and use created or renewable resources, right? Wait, that’s for wood, and gas … no, wait, those are good, coal is bad, crap, I can’t remember when it’s ok to rape the earth and when it’s not.

Humans are natural living beings, therefore we will die if not preserved and cared for. We are doing a pretty good job of it, too, since aside from being eaten by lions or having boulders drop on us unexpectedly, we’re pretty much living beyond our 20s and 30s. Twinkies will last for decades (well, unless the parent company goes bankrupt and they die, ironically, an unnatural death, but then they too rise from the dead and come back stronger than before … go figure. Wait, did they push a rock aside to come back to life, too? See, I knew there was something in that story to worship.)

Natural Ingredients

Not good. Sure, they can be, because the concept of natural absorption and working symbiotically with nature makes perfect sense when you hear it, but then that’s likely because your parents switched the nature channel when the lions ate the giraffes so you didn’t have to see nature as anything other than pretty and graceful.

You don’t have to live through a tornado, hurricane, or tsunami to understand the horrific power of destruction that nature can throw our way. You just have to remember that when the nice lady at the mall tries to tell you that it’s ok, the face cream is natural, that so is sulfuric acid. Wanna put that on your face? Sure, it will dissolve your wrinkles … along with your nose. Lava is natural too. So is MRSA. So is ecoli.

We all know that Botox is botulism, a deadly organism that wiped out half of civilization at one point in history and resulted in billions of dollars being spent on scientific research to find a way to kill off nature that was stronger than us so we could live longer. Now people are spending thousands of dollars to have this very organism actually injected into their bodies, all for the sake of looking shocked or happy.

So wait, it’s ok to inject poison for the sake of beauty, but not drink diet cola because I might be deluded into thinking it might help me avoid diabetes?

(By the way, the massive increase in the diagnoses of diabetes that came about about 20 years ago was because the diagnostic standards by which diabetes would be considered present were lowered, resulting in more people being ABLE to be diagnosed on the new protocols. Thank you pharma lobbies!)


I’ve been told since I was a kid that cardio was good. To do aerobic exercises properly you had to get your heart rate raised to a specific point for a specific period of time, and then have a cool down period afterwards. Millions of dollars in exercise videos and gym memberships were spent to reach this pulsing heart rate in the name of health. Stress does this daily. But stress is bad, right? No, wait, there’s good stress and bad stress, but the effect on the heart rate is the same, so … .it’s just too confusing.

Sun Exposure

Sun is bad because it results in skin cancer. (As a fair skinned one of Irish heritage my experience with the sun has not been positive, from the blinding light that gives me headaches to the scent of burning flesh if I spend more than 10 minutes next to a window that isn’t properly tinted, despite wearing sunscreen 24/7, I do remain out of the sun as much as possible.) But now that we are following the advice of medical experts everywhere, more people are being diagnosed with Rickets. How are they determining if the bone loss is due to lack of vitamin D or Calcium, or just plain old age because our bodies are not at all designed to put this much pressure on our spines for this long (we were not physically designed to be bipedal all the time!)


I could go on, but hopefully you get the point. You may just assume I’m being contrary, and that’s ok. If it made you think even for a moment on a deeply held belief, to question why you might have blindly assumed some piece of spoon fed information without questioning, then my work here is done.

Science knows shockingly less than it appears to, and actual scientists will tell you this openly, without hesitation.  But so many others take pieces of information and push them as if they make sense, make money, or make nice to cover someone’s butt. (But mainly make money).

People don’t drink diet soda to lose weight. At best they drink diet soda to not gain more. There’s a huge difference in the wording there.

(I’ll let you go now and vacuum seal your organic veggies so they will be there for you when the zombie apocalypse comes.)


About Laurissa Doonan

I'm a marketer. I've been a professional marketer for over 25 years, but in reality, I have always been one. Marketing to me is about communicating effectively, regardless of platform, regardless of channel. Marketing is understanding both your objectives and your audience, and finding the right method and message for your customers to reach them where they are. Now I dedicate my efforts to helping very small and small companies pursue their passions and grow their businesses through marketing; providing agency trained expertise without the overhead.
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