An open Letter to James Comey:

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Hey, Jim, can I call you Jim?

Look, we need to talk. Look, we all know you’re undoubtedly a really smart, capable guy with a serious attention to detail, and a desire to do the job thoroughly and fairly. But you’re not superman, you can’t do everything on your own.

Over the past several months when you’ve chosen to make yourself more public, rightly or wrongly, you’ve exposed a need within your office. You need to trust those in your employ to help you find the right words.

You showed it in your prepared remarks in July, and again today. Now, it doesn’t have to be difficult, just say the words you mean.

You specifically said you didn’t want to be misunderstood, but guess what, you totally owned that. Let me give you an example of what I mean.

I could question your ability and go on and give examples, or be vague and unintentionally disparaging, or, I could use specifics and detail, and be brief and to the point.

You. Suck. At. Writing.

Your actions have brought to life as an example of exactly what Mark Twain referenced when he said:

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—it’s the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”

WORDS MATTER!

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To the non-enthusiastic millennial voters

To the non-enthusiastic millennial votersI get it, you’re just not jazzed up about voting, because you’re not feeling it. You believe a vote should be of value, and therefore if you’re not enamored with the choices, why bother.
Simple: People died for your right to vote.

Look, we were all younger once, and felt that way, hell, even Billy Joel wrote a song (Angry Young Man) a generation before even mine that included the lines:

I once believed in causes too / I had my pointless point of view / And life went on no matter who was wrong or right

We were all you, we get it.

But here’s the thing. It matters. Your vote matters. Every vote matters. If you’re not impassioned by either candidate, well, honestly, suck it up.

Life isn’t here to please you at every single moment in time. It’s not here to serve you based on your needs. Get out of your own self and vote, because it’s critical to the future, to my future, to your future, and to the future generations.

Voting is a right, and you benefit (and suffer) from the outcome of the votes of others. So choosing not to do it is allowing others to control your life. Now, we all know, you don’t like how that sounds, do you.

Vote out of respect, vote out of disgust, vote out of anger or disenfranchisement. But vote. Because you can.

You’re likely closer to the college years than I am, so it’s reasonable to expect that you’re pretty fresh when it comes to math. Use it. Do it. See if voting for a third party will make a difference. If you’re choosing to do that because you want a vote, ok, I understand that, but that distaste and disgust you’re trying to avoid by not voting for the candidate you hate but also not voting for the one you just don’t trust or like…. try math. It means you’re voting for the one you hate.

And that makes you just as responsible for the outcome as if you had voted for the one you hate.

And lets just be clear here for a minute: There isn’t a choice of equals in the two main party candidates. There just isn’t. It’s not an opinion, it’s facts.

Don’t go tit for tat, that’s not how mature adults act. I know, it’s confusing, because it’s what you see on all the news channels, but they’re all just afraid of being sued, and focused on getting ratings.

But lies aren’t truths, and opinions aren’t facts. You know this, you just learned this in school.

Don’t forget it. What you learned in school matters. Shit, look how much you paid for that knowledge, so don’t just throw it away. Recycle your knowledge, and apply it, reuse it. DIY-it, and don’t just trust the sound bytes, use your critical thinking skills.

Look, I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m with Her. I’ve always been with Her. Since I voted for her husband, and especially since that time back then when she said she’s not the type of woman to stay home and bake cookies and have tea parties.

But I’m not with Her because she’s a her, I’m with her because she’s amazing. She’s accomplished, and collaborative, and is human, and gets shit done. She’s living history, and she’s already changed your millennial lives without you even knowing the impact she’s had on it.

Look at who she is, what’s she’s done, what she’s accomplished in her life. See the threads of what she fights for, and what she stands for. It’s not about pneumonia, it’s not about transparency. It’s about decency and competence.

So if you’re not enthused, so what. I’ve voted for the lesser of two evils many times, that’s part of life. I’ve had to make choices that don’t suit my immediate needs, that in the long run pay out. So do it.

Life isn’t about appeasing you, it’s about you making the right choices, that extend beyond just you. Your vote can affect millions of people, billions, potentially, across the globe, as you vote for the leader of the free world. It’s not about you being pissed off about Bernie, or testosterone levels, or not telling you about pneumonia because you think you had a right to know to make an informed decision.

You didn’t. Just as you don’t have a right to know how long it takes one to take a piss (to ostensibly gauge the risk of an enlarged prostate).

So vote, vote on what matters, but look it up, on multiple sources, like you did in college, because we don’t have journalists anymore, we have pundits, and that means they don’t have to be objective, and THEY aren’t held to the standards of truth and transparency that they whine about.

Use your insanely expensive college knowledge and skills to learn and educate yourself, because the answers that are handed to you are someone else’s gains, not yours.

Make the effort. Vote. People died so you could.

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Our Language Defines Us … or does it?

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How many times have you heard it said that our language defines us. First it was anthropology courses, as the idea of communication emerged. If you were like me, you wondered why you never heard it in English and writing classes, and then slowly, over late night deep soul discussions with a side of imbibeables, realized it so totally did.

Then it was in leadership courses and coaching sessions, and in at least half of the business articles you reach about emotional intelligence and communication skills.

Over and over and over again, HOW to communicate, when no one is doing it anyway. We’re focusing entirely on HOW we say something and end up not saying it at all.

Writers are always told to write as you speak. But when we’re told how to speak, we lose our voice.

Enter the anti-politically correct movement.
Wait, no. No. That’s not right.

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HB2 in North Carolina is not about safety, it’s about discrimination and segregation

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The fight for gender-specific bathrooms, or rather, against gender neutral bathrooms or the right for individuals to choose which is most appropriate for them, is in no way related to the bullshit cover suggesting they are protecting our women and children from potential sexual assault. It’s just not.

And never before in our history has that been clearer, as we hear more and more court outcomes and the ensuing reactions as the victims are damned and the guilty are given lenience. The suggestion that these decisions are designed to protect the innocent are as false as the integrity of those saying it.

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​An Open Letter to the Media

This entire discussion and controversy is unconscionable. For WEEKS, trumplestilskiens have been promoting conpiracy theories, easily debunked, about HRC’S health, and the media has allowed and perpetuated it, ignoring the detailed health information she had already released. Yes, it was in letter form, but it was detailed with the very information you are now seeking. Instead you mention it as a letter from her doctor, giving it the same weight as the mockery the other side put out.

Now you, the media, is horrified that the campaign is not being transparent about an illness? When you and the Trump campaign are touting stories of non-existent body doubles, diseases, and such, you ask “why didn’t she come out and just say she had this passing treatable illness?” Are you kidding me?

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The Bully Gamble

Have you ever played the slots? You know how you keep pumping money into it? Then you have to pull the lever to see the outcome because you never know? In goes what you set aside to play with. In goes this week’s check.

Then, as you start to get frustrated, out pops a win. You’re hooked, and almost even. In goes again, the overspend you just won back. Little by little. A little win, but enough to give hope.

In goes the rent money, you can make that up by working harder. A little win comes back, but it’s paltry. In goes the car payment.

Why can’t you stop? What’s wrong with me? Oh look, a little win. In goes the last dollar.

You won’t win. It’s calculated to keep you going, giving, until there’s nothing left. Then you’re no longer welcome and ushered out, into the stark, glaring light of day.

Through your tears of self disgust you see all those before you, now standing among you.

But look back. Turn around. The casino is now shuttered. It had to pay one out, and out shut down.

You were a whole person, feeding coins in, over and over, holding out for the promise touted, the excitement, the hype.

The casino, the house, was never a person. Just an algorithm, designed to win, at all costs.

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Signs That You’ve Been Abused by a Narcissist

Very strong and thorough description of the effects of being in a relationship with an Narcissist. This can be a parent/child relationship, domestic, friendship, or in a work setting.

After Narcissistic Abuse


Self-Doubt

1. YOU DOUBT YOURSELF

Do you recognize that you’re doubting yourself more than you ever have before?

Victims of narcissistic abuse often appear uncertain of themselves, constantly seeking clarification that they haven’t made a mistake or misheard something.

This reactive adaptation to narcissistic abuse is because the narcissist is ALWAYS finger pointing and shifting blame to YOU for ALL of the ups & downs both in the relationship AND in the narcissist’s personal psyche.
Because this relationship has NON EXISTENT boundaries, you will find YOURSELF constantly PUT UPON and FORCED to accept responsibility for things you didn’t do or say. This borrowed humiliation and shame is exactly what the narcissist intends for the victim to take from the narcissist. Their own unfelt core of shame.

2. CONFUSION

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Just refer to the above explanation of self doubt and boundary transgression if you want to understand the CONFUSION that is part and…

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What the hell were you thinking?

You did what?

I had a full time job that paid a decent salary. It wasn’t on par with the market value of the title and defined role, and certainly wasn’t close to what was in line with the responsibilities of what I actually did (which was deliberately made clear by my boss), but it was a decent salary.

What it wasn’t was a decent job.

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