A Woke Introvert

A Woke Introvert

“I can’t go back to yesterday – because I was a different person then.”    ~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

As I sit i the coffee shop waiting to meet with a woman from a network group I belong to I comb through my Twitter feed to see if anything interesting is going on. It is, of course, everywhere, in big ways and small, but nothing really grabbed my interest.

My morning habits have changed since the election. Instead of heading directly to Facebook to be shown my “memories” in the morning, and catch up on friends’ updates as I’d done in the past, I’ve switched over to news sites as my first stop sometime during the election.

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Big Brother Isn’t Watching You

Big Brother Isn't Watching You

Big Brother Probably Isn’t Watching You

You’re Just Not That Interesting


OMG, did you hear? The CIA spies on people.
OMG, that’s out-RA-geous.

It’s been a busy news week, but of course, most have been over the last 2 years, as we’re hit left, right, and center with an onslaught of information, news, events, leaks, interpretations, lies, and conspiracy theories. Which one gets the attention is YOUR choice.

One that certainly got attention is the one that scares the bejeebus out of most people, because, frankly, we’re insanely self-centered. That’s the one about Big Brother watching, through your television, your phone, and “wire tapping”, brought to you by the data dump leak of spy tactics and tools through internet connected devices.

We want our privacy. We demand our privacy. How DARE [insert your preferred scapegoats name] step on my rights as a private individual without my permission!

Um, I’ve got news for you, they didn’t.

Yeah, they had your permission. You probably willingly, happily, and out of convenience, handed over permission.

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Who’s Getting to Know You?

Getting to Know You

Who’s Getting to Know You?

Big Brother? Crazy Cousin? Or Someone else?

Getting to know you,
Getting to know all about you.
Getting to like you,
Getting to hope you like me.

We are social beings by nature. We interact with others. In each relationship we build we start by getting to know each other. We start by asking questions, spending time together, and learning more about each other. Gradually we learn what makes each other tick, what we like, how we’ll react to things, and what we need.

Getting to know you,
Putting it my way,
But nicely,
You are precisely,
My cup of tea.

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Integrity matters.

These are frustrating times, but to be honest, they all have been.

Call me naive, tell me I have trust issues, overly high expectations. Tell me I’m too sensitive. Go ahead, I have. I’ve used those words to explain the ways I am accountable for creating my own chaos and frustration.

I’ve spent thousands of dollars on working through it. And yet …

I still want to scream and break things when people let me down. Expecting integrity and honesty is not a high expectation. I will not be accountable for others letting me down any more.

Respect, Integrity, Consideration, Honesty.

These are not, should not be, considered too high expectations. 

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I’m > You


I “Know” Things

Get used to hearing this phrase and others like it. If you’re new to this game, let me give you a few of the variations:

  • Other people have said
  • People have asked me
  • I’ve done my own research
  • Look, I have sources you don’t
  • I’ve spoken to people who were there

This is a common tactic used by many who are trying to put themselves in a position of power, to present themselves as someone who is more informed, more worthy of information, more in the know.

They’re not.

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Validation and Hope

Alma Mater

A Season of Triggers

This election season has been devastating. So many of us have watched as examples from our lives flash before us over and over and over again for the world to see. Times when we were always told it was something about us, as individuals, that was a problem, that was wrong, that shouldn’t speak up or out.

The threats, spoken and unspoken, the underlying micro-aggressions and accepted derogatory behavior. No, we’re not playing the woman card, we’re playing the person card. We have a voice, be it shrill or nasty, unsmiling or emotional, it’s a legitimate voice that has validated us.


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An open Letter to James Comey:


Hey, Jim, can I call you Jim?

Look, we need to talk. Look, we all know you’re undoubtedly a really smart, capable guy with a serious attention to detail, and a desire to do the job thoroughly and fairly. But you’re not superman, you can’t do everything on your own.

Over the past several months when you’ve chosen to make yourself more public, rightly or wrongly, you’ve exposed a need within your office. You need to trust those in your employ to help you find the right words.

You showed it in your prepared remarks in July, and again today. Now, it doesn’t have to be difficult, just say the words you mean.

You specifically said you didn’t want to be misunderstood, but guess what, you totally owned that. Let me give you an example of what I mean.

I could question your ability and go on and give examples, or be vague and unintentionally disparaging, or, I could use specifics and detail, and be brief and to the point.

You. Suck. At. Writing.

Your actions have brought to life as an example of exactly what Mark Twain referenced when he said:

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—it’s the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”


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To the non-enthusiastic millennial voters

To the non-enthusiastic millennial votersI get it, you’re just not jazzed up about voting, because you’re not feeling it. You believe a vote should be of value, and therefore if you’re not enamored with the choices, why bother.
Simple: People died for your right to vote.

Look, we were all younger once, and felt that way, hell, even Billy Joel wrote a song (Angry Young Man) a generation before even mine that included the lines:

I once believed in causes too / I had my pointless point of view / And life went on no matter who was wrong or right

We were all you, we get it.

But here’s the thing. It matters. Your vote matters. Every vote matters. If you’re not impassioned by either candidate, well, honestly, suck it up.

Life isn’t here to please you at every single moment in time. It’s not here to serve you based on your needs. Get out of your own self and vote, because it’s critical to the future, to my future, to your future, and to the future generations.

Voting is a right, and you benefit (and suffer) from the outcome of the votes of others. So choosing not to do it is allowing others to control your life. Now, we all know, you don’t like how that sounds, do you.

Vote out of respect, vote out of disgust, vote out of anger or disenfranchisement. But vote. Because you can.

You’re likely closer to the college years than I am, so it’s reasonable to expect that you’re pretty fresh when it comes to math. Use it. Do it. See if voting for a third party will make a difference. If you’re choosing to do that because you want a vote, ok, I understand that, but that distaste and disgust you’re trying to avoid by not voting for the candidate you hate but also not voting for the one you just don’t trust or like…. try math. It means you’re voting for the one you hate.

And that makes you just as responsible for the outcome as if you had voted for the one you hate.

And lets just be clear here for a minute: There isn’t a choice of equals in the two main party candidates. There just isn’t. It’s not an opinion, it’s facts.

Don’t go tit for tat, that’s not how mature adults act. I know, it’s confusing, because it’s what you see on all the news channels, but they’re all just afraid of being sued, and focused on getting ratings.

But lies aren’t truths, and opinions aren’t facts. You know this, you just learned this in school.

Don’t forget it. What you learned in school matters. Shit, look how much you paid for that knowledge, so don’t just throw it away. Recycle your knowledge, and apply it, reuse it. DIY-it, and don’t just trust the sound bytes, use your critical thinking skills.

Look, I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m with Her. I’ve always been with Her. Since I voted for her husband, and especially since that time back then when she said she’s not the type of woman to stay home and bake cookies and have tea parties.

But I’m not with Her because she’s a her, I’m with her because she’s amazing. She’s accomplished, and collaborative, and is human, and gets shit done. She’s living history, and she’s already changed your millennial lives without you even knowing the impact she’s had on it.

Look at who she is, what’s she’s done, what she’s accomplished in her life. See the threads of what she fights for, and what she stands for. It’s not about pneumonia, it’s not about transparency. It’s about decency and competence.

So if you’re not enthused, so what. I’ve voted for the lesser of two evils many times, that’s part of life. I’ve had to make choices that don’t suit my immediate needs, that in the long run pay out. So do it.

Life isn’t about appeasing you, it’s about you making the right choices, that extend beyond just you. Your vote can affect millions of people, billions, potentially, across the globe, as you vote for the leader of the free world. It’s not about you being pissed off about Bernie, or testosterone levels, or not telling you about pneumonia because you think you had a right to know to make an informed decision.

You didn’t. Just as you don’t have a right to know how long it takes one to take a piss (to ostensibly gauge the risk of an enlarged prostate).

So vote, vote on what matters, but look it up, on multiple sources, like you did in college, because we don’t have journalists anymore, we have pundits, and that means they don’t have to be objective, and THEY aren’t held to the standards of truth and transparency that they whine about.

Use your insanely expensive college knowledge and skills to learn and educate yourself, because the answers that are handed to you are someone else’s gains, not yours.

Make the effort. Vote. People died so you could.

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